Family Life with Adopted Kids

Raised in a very conservative family, it never really occurred to me the idea of adoption. Before my perspective about family is narrow and child-like, a mom and a dad together with their biological kids, nothing more and nothing less. I guess my only exposure to this kind of family setting are the old Filipino drama series that depicts adoption in their family, the cliché that the adopted child and the biological child gets switch and so on and so forth. So it dawned on me how a family life with an adopted kid is?

See, “Love Sees beyond Differences” has been such an eye-opener to those children whom at a young age seeks for the warmth and comfort of a family. It made me expose more and understand to stories of people, to the idea of connection and to unconditional love. Stories about people for how diverse life really is, there are couples who are blessed with little angels and there are those who are not, there are children with family who took their parents for granted and there are children who couldn’t wish for more but a tight hug from parents who can call their own. Secondly the idea of connection, of how not only blood or surname connects people, not only these two labels you as a part of family. Family means so much more than being that, Family means love more than anything. Finally unconditional love, perhaps this is the real standard of being a family, the love that loves you for who you are and for whom you are not, the love that doesn’t care about where you’re from, and the love that sees beyond differences. Going back to the question how a family life with an adopted child is? I think it has no differences at all from the family life with biological kids. A family life with adopted kids has all the elements it needs to stand as one, a mother and a father with their adopted kids and most importantly the unconditional love that ties them to stand as one. Those kids may not came from the mothers womb but they came from their hearts, They are a family nonetheless.

By Igel Manalo

"Love Sees Beyond Differences" is an advocacy we, UST students, had to work hand in hand with for our Ideas that Matter event (an academic activity participated by Advertising and Communication Arts students of UST). At first I was a bit hesitant if we could be successful since not a lot of people are open to the broad aspect which is adoption. It is fulfilling to see that the students I was with eventually warmed up to the advocacy after the 3 days of ITM. A lot of students are now open to the concept of adoption. They now have deeper understanding of what adoption really is and what it can do for other people.

Adoption is not just about welcoming someone into your home. It doesn't end there. It’s about being a family and creating a home for the child and being there every step of the way. Being the reason for a child’s smile is the most fulfilling or the lightest feeling in the world and I think the Love Sees Beyond Differences campaign has that power. The power to give joy to children and parents alike.

By Claudine dela Cruz

Thomasians speak up: What adoption is for them

Margi Fajardo, College of Fine Arts and Design Major in Advertising

With this experience I was able to appreciate more the family I have now. As early as 18 years old I already have decided that I would adopt when I grow up and have my own family. And being part of the Love Sees Beyond Differences campaign it convinced me enough to actually want to solidify that plan in the future. Also, it actually enlightened me somehow on the process of adoption.

 Hans Lagman, College of Fine Arts and Design Major in Advertising

After attending the music event last Friday, I watched and observed how the families with adopted children acted. Adoption isn’t about whose blood you carry, or having different bloodline, it’s about who you love and who loves you. It’s all about taking care of each other no matter how big the differences are between you and them. 

Venzerie Bernabe, Faculty of Arts and Letters Major in Communication Arts

It has become clear to me: adoption is a kind of love worth declaring. Adopted children should not be ashamed of being such, because it means that they are lucky to have a family that will guide them and love them as they grow old. Adoption promises light, a good future, and everlasting love. It is something very beautiful, not something to be ashamed of. 

Rencie Baluyot, Faculty of Arts and Letters Major in Communication Arts

I learned that adoption should never be a subject of shame or embarrassment, but of love, gratefulness and hope. 

Cy Aquino,  College of Fine Arts and Design Major in Advertising

Attending the music event is really a great opportunity for me. Well, as I saw the parents and children in the event, I was very moved. I can see that they really love their children so much. Another thing, these parents are like angels sent from above, giving endless love to the children they adopted. As what Ma’am Dinky Soliman said, “Coming from the stomach is not the important thing, it’s loving from the heart.” I’m thankful for the parents that provide love and non-stop support to all their adoptive sons and daughters. 

A New Hope

                There a lot of abandoned children in the country. They are mostly abandoned due to the lack of support their own family could give them. They are then left on the streets to ask for money and people usually ignore these children. People are either afraid of them or they think that they are working for a syndicate. But how do we give them a chance to have a better life?

                Here comes adoption. It’s nothing new in this country but it is becoming the least solution to the problems of abandoned children. Adopting a child is giving them a new life. People should not adopt not only due to pity but because they are really willing to give them a chance to be loved by a family. 

                In adopting, people should see that the children they are adopting are not different than them. No matter where the children came from, parents should treat them like they have always been a part of the family. But they should also tell their adopted children the truth as they have the right to know it. Love and acceptance should be the priority of the children. Because of adoption, they have been saved from a lonely world.

               

                People should be more aware of adoption and this has been done by the Department of Social Welfare and Development and also the help of McCann Philippines’ Love Sees Beyond Differences. Different families who adopted have gathered to celebrate the good things about adoption. Not everything is bad about adoption. It gives chance to the abandoned and also, love is spread. Personally, I know a relative who has been adopted. Now, she is excelling in school and sports. She has been given good education and she has been brought up well by her parents. This shows that adoption is not bad at all. The process might be long but the end result is fulfilling for both the parents and the children.

                A new perspective on adoption should be seen by the people. It might open up the minds of the people and make them consider adopting a child. We should all see beyond our differences. Because in these differences, we find the hope and love we are looking for. 

by Abigail Diaz

Music is the key to the soul

Last February 22 2013, McCann Philippines hosted a music event that supported an adoption advocacy. Love Sees Beyond Differences, is an adoption advocacy campaign that was launched last November 29, 2012, that aims to eliminate the negative stigma that adoption has held and to promote adoption in the country. The music event started with a mass which was presided by Fr. Armand Robleza SDB and continued on with a concert of various of OPM artists and appearances from our nation's leaders.

                             

Erik Santos voiced out a heartwarming song.

A short inspirational message was given by Undersecretary Dinky Soliman.

Jamie Rivera

Nay

Jeffrey Hidalgo dedicates a song to his younger brother.

Moonstar88 sings Torete

UST Student Volunteers

The night was filled music and smiles. Everyone enjoyed the sound as it rung from the string of the well toned guitars and the beat coming from the tap of the stick against the skin of the drum. The crowd had a wonderful night. 

author: Pat U.

A Bigger and Richer Family

“The time when we first met Felice, we fell in love” says Mrs. Nenita Santos, an adoptive mother. Mrs. Nenita shared their journey on adopting Felice, their adoptive daughter, last January 12, 2013 in an interview we held at their lovely home in Makati.

            We asked them how they met Felice and if there was this certain spark right at that very moment they’ve been with her. Ironically, according to Mr. Bobby Santos there was no spark at all. The connection between him and Felice just grew stronger eventually. Mr. Santos’ was actually a bit hesitant at the beginning because they didn’t know how demanding and time-consuming the legal adoption process was. He was also very open in admitting he wasn’t 100% sure he’s on board with the whole adoption idea. However, with the helpful encouragement of their social worker and the grace of the Lord, he says that he was really enlightened that he put all hesitations behind out of love because he realized he really wanted to push through with the process. He really wanted to give it a chance. He knew that he and his wife wanted to give their overflowing love to a child who deserves it. Because in fact, there are a lot of children who are still living in foster homes and feels neglected for not having a family who wants to adopt them.

            True enough, Felice had been a blessing to them and vice versa. Before Felice, they shared how they were in fact a happy couple. But things changed now that Felice had come into their lives. They seem to be even more excited because of the good and bad things that continue to surprise them along the way. There are three of them now - three different people with three different moods, attitudes, needs and wants. But the love was there. There was an abundance of love. That was enough for them to go through any challenges they may encounter as family. And if not for Felice, they wouldn’t be here to tell their story. 

Mr. and Mrs. Sonny Santos

By Erica Doria 

DSWD Gives Support to Solo Parents Who Want to Adopt

There are no stereotypes, first impressions, and discrimination when it comes to adoption.

Who says that adoption is for couples only? The Department of Social Welfare and Development [through Ms. Sally Dagulo] expressed and extended adoption by supporting and giving assistance to solo parents now. Ms. Dagulo said that the solo parents should have the right motivation for adopting a child and can provide all the love and care the child needs.

DSWD also wants to lessen the misconception of adoption; one is the idea that adoption is for couples only; second is that adoption has a preferred sexual orientation and third is a long, difficult and expensive process. The DSWD is meticulous, but the process is not that complex, according to Dagulo. The DSWD is also pushing for legal adoption, which gives a child the same rights as a biological child of the adoptive parents, including the right to use their surname.

Speaking of a free sexual orientation, DSWD is gender-sensitive and does not judge the prospective parent based on his or her sexual orientation. As long as the applicant meets all the requirements and has shown the proper motivation for wanting to care for a child, he or she will be considered. Moreover, religion is also not a factor in allowing someone to adopt, she said. Religion only comes into consideration when the child to be adopted is over 6 years old, when the child usually already practices a religion

Adoption is not a measure of who you are and how much you have as a person. Adoption is heartfelt decision. You do not owe anybody an explanation, why you decided to adopt. As long as you are capable to raise the child and equip him with the positive values, that is more than enough of what is expected from you. To open your hearts is already an effort, but to raise the kid in a good family is a great leap. It is a good news that DSWD is very willing to help solo parents and couples look for a child that is matched to them. The government agency doubles their effort not just to provide families to abandoned kids, but to also shelter love and care to them.

By Catherine Cenal

(Full news article: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/144071/adoption-open-to-singles%E2%80%93dswd)

DSWD and Adoption

“Sana mawala na ang mga bata sa mga institution. Dapat may pamilya sila,” – Atty. Dulfie Shalim (Director of the DSWD’s Program Management Bureau)

When I was in my 4th grade, we went to an orphanage [Association de Damas de Filipinas]. In my mind, I was wondering, we were suppose to go to a park or to a mall or to a theme park but why are we here. Imagine a flock of innocent 10 year old boys and girls roaming around the orphanage, checking out the rooms, the playground and the kids. I was not a noble person that time, I pity the kids for they do not have parents to love them. My heart almost melted because babies were also left at the Association.

As a 10 year old girl that time, I was vulnerable to emotions because the idea of losing my parents was never entertained. Now that I am fully aware that more and more kids are left in orphanages, emotions have no room, because an open heart and mind are what they need.

According to a report from Karen Galarpe of GMA News, DSWD Undersecretary Parisya T. Taradji, said that they have facilitated the processing of the legal adoption of 6,558 children from 2006 to 2011, or an average of 1,300 children annually. On the other hand, Inter-Country Adoption Board (ICAB), has placed 4,406 Filipino children for adoption in other countries from 2000 to 2011, said Taradji, yielding an average of 400 Pinoy kids adopted by families abroad yearly. But these numbers are still insignificant because many children are still in orphanages or child care agencies, and it would be for the best interest of the children if they can be placed in the care of families legally, the DSWD said.
Adoption Consciousness Week had gone (Feb. 4 to Feb. 10), DSWD with the theme ““Isulong! Legal na Pag-aampon,” according to them it was very timely, given that many children are being abandoned these days. DSWD and ICAB felt that the “lack of awareness” about the legal adoption process maybe the reason why there is no increase in fosters and adoptees. Pepito de Leon, who adopted two children with his wife Flor more than 20 years ago, said he tried to convince friends to consider adoption when they have a hard time having a baby. Moreover, he said that “it is still difficult to convince people to consider adoption. There is a lack of knowledge and awareness, and there are fears that these children up for adoption may be children of incest, rape, or have a problem with their parental history,”

Atty. Bernadette Abejo, ICAB Executive Director, explained that “those are children. We shouldn’t lump them as children of GROs, children of crime. These children are not at fault. Ang problema ng parents, hindi problema ng bata.”

The process of legally adopting a child may involve several steps, but these are done to make sure the child is placed in a family that will best serve his or her interest.
Shalim explained the steps as follows:
1. Application. Interested adoptive parents will have to go to the DSWD office nearest them or to a duly accredited child placement institution. They will then be required to attend an adoption forum at a DSWD Field Office or at the Kaisahang Buhay Foundation and Norfil Foundation, both licensed by the DSWD to receive and process domestic adoption. After that, they are asked to submit required documents to the DSWD, Regional Trial Court, or child caring agencies.


2. Preparation of homestudy report. A social worker will interview and visit the home so she can evaluate “the parenting capability of prospective adoptive parents and capacity to provide for the best welfare of the child.”

3. Approval/disapproval of application

4. Matching or family selection. The National Child Welfare Specialist Group will deliberate on cases
.
5. Pre-placement of child. Information about the child is shared with the prospective adoptive parents.

6. Placement. The social worker will bring the child to the prospective adoptive parents.

7. Supervised trial custody. During a 6-month period, a social worker will visit the home regularly to monitor the adjustment of the child and parents.

8. Finalization of adoption. The social worker will recommend that a Consent to Adoption be issued and signed by the DSWD Undersecretary for Operations and Capacity Building Group. Prospective adoptive parents then hire a legal counsel to file the petition for the legalization of adoption and represent them in court.

9. Issuance of adoption decree. The Court issues an Adoption Decree and Certificate of Finality.

10. Issuance of an amended birth certificate. The Court will forward a copy of the Adoption Decree to the Local Civil Registrar for preparation of the amended birth certificate.

11. Post-adoptive services. This will be provided by the social worker as needed

I don’t think the legal process should haunt the interested families. One, the process is a must, everyone who wants to legally and clearly adopt a child must undergo the step. DSWD and other agencies have clearly stated that the process would safely transfer the kid from an orphanage to a family. Second, after the process the end result is priceless and truly worth it. Seeing a new member of the family is indeed more than the process the family had gone through. It will be an overwhelming feeling to give the child a humble abode and a loving family.

Every abandoned kid deserves a shelter and unconditional love.

By: Catherine Cenal

(Full news article: http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/247444/lifestyle/people/adopt-children-legally-dswd-urges-families)

When Stars Shine Brighter

Hearing stories of celebrities adopting kids mean a lot to me and mean more than anything else to the Department of Social Welfare and Development.

Who would have thought that superstars would be very much interested in adopting? Big names like Nora Aunor, Claudine Barretto, Judy Ann Santos and Kristine Hermosa are some celebrities who have stood up and proudly declared love to their adopted kids.

Teleserye Queen Claudine Barretto has been very open to the public about Sabina. Sabina luckily came to the couple years before their biological son was born and no doubt that love and care is equally divided and shared to them. Fortunately, Claudine did not do it alone because DSWD was there when they had to tell the truth to Sabina. Claudine assured the public that all the papers were already settled, it was easy to fix the papers but to tell Sabina the truth is a different story. Claudine already plead to the public that words should not carelessly come out of their mouth at the end of their journey they want every bit of information to come from them. DSWD is very helpful to their family; they facilitated seminars and counselling on how to properly tell your child that they are adopted.

On the other hand, another Teleserye Queen by the name Judy Ann Santos have already disclosed to her adopted daughter Yohan the truth. 'You didn't come from mama's tummy. You came from mommy's heart and we really prayed for you' this were the exact words that Juday uttered when she had her serious talk with Yohan. Unlike Sabina, Yohan is very aggressive and very confused that she had to ask her mother more questions when she knew about the truth. It was normal not to have a good relationship with Lucio [Santos’ biological son] but at the same time it was a time for adjustment for Yohan.

Superstar Nora Aunor’s story is not new to everyone. Her adopted kids Lotlot and Matet never questioned their mother but soon found their biological parents. Lotlot already met her mother few years back but it was only last year that she found her dad. It was very emotional for her because after long years of waiting she found her biological dad. Lotlot admitted that looking for her dad didn’t mean to replace La Aunor, it was the idea of looking for her identity that pushed her to look for him. Matet, on the other hand, is already fulfilled and contented of what she has become and what she had receive from La Aunor.

These stories are priceless, you think you only saw them acting out scripts and dialogues. These are real stories, these are not teleseryes or telenovelas. I know there are still a lot of celebrities who are just finding the right time to become more open in the idea of adoption, some may have adopted kids but are not yet ready to disclose it to the public. But, I hope in the near future they will also be able to declare their love for their adopted kids.

By Catherine Cenal

A Student's Experience with Love Sees Beyond Differences

It is but a great experience to work for McCann Worldgroup; as a novice you don't just pass out on opportunities like this, you get to be in the actual field, to do the actual work, to work with and for the actual people on the industry and to learn more than just the things you discuss on a four-cornered classroom,  so what's the reason to back out?

However, being a part of this project, even just for a day, has thought me so much more than the corporate stuff. It thought me about life of individuals, connection, and love. Life of individuals because you get to know more about people, it just makes you feel that there's so much more than yourself in this world. Love Sees Beyond Differences take a stand that there is a market of this people, families and kids, who found warmth and care through adoption. Connection because Love Sees Beyond Differences open up our hearts that even we are all complete strangers, even if say a couple can't have a kid there is still a chance to create a family that blood isn't the only standard to have a family and home no matter where we came from. Finally love, because there shouldn't be a stigma even if you've adopted, adoption doesn't make you less of a person or a couple but it is opportune to open up your heart to spread love, to be the best parent that you could be.

In conclusion, the campaign Love Sees Beyond Differences has inspired me to give more heart, a touch to the people that will make them move for the betterment of all. Which perhaps in the future I will be generating :) Hopefully.

By Igel Manalo

Ogie Alcasid, the Voice Behind the Song "I Love You Anak"

Ogie Alcasid sings the song, "I love you anak"

 at the media launch of Love Sees Beyond Differences 

"I Love You Anak" is the official song of the campaign Love Sees Beyond Differences,  the adoption advocacy campaign launched by the Department of Social Welfare and Development in partnership with the Inter-Country Adoption Board and McCann Worldgroup. The song was composed by McCann Worldgroup and performed by Ogie Alcasid. Through the song, the advocacy hopes to encourage more Filipinos to open their hearts and homes to Filipino adoptive children and "soften the stigma on adoption." 

Multi-awarded singer-songwriter Ogie Alcasid said,

"I'm glad that they used music as a kick-off for the campaign 

because music is 

very powerful."

 

Alcasid extended his support to the advocacy campaign and added that it is important for him because it is through adoption that his sister would get the opportunity to build her family. He shared during the launch of Love Sees Beyond Differences that his U.S based sister and her husband wishes to adopt a Filipino child. Currently, they're on the process of adoption and had been in contact with the officials of the Inter-Country Adoption Board (ICAB).

"I also have friends who are adoptive parents and there is no difference from the love that they show to their biological and adopted children," said Alcasid.

Lyrics to the song I Love You Anak:

I love you, anak. I love you

'Di laging magkapareho, minsan 'di magkasundo

But I love you, anak

I love you

Kahit isa'y masungit at isa'y palangiti

Kahit 'di magkasing height ating mga binti

I love you, anak

I love you

Kahit na magkaiba shape nating mga binti

Kahit 'di kasing tangos ilong nating dalawa

I love you anak. I love you.

I love you, anak. I love you

'Di laging magkapareho, minsan 'di magkasundo

But I love you, anak. I love you

Kahit 'di kasing tabain, busog ang puso natin

Kahit less ang patience ko, naghihintay para sa'yo

I love you anak. I love you

Kahit forever kang mas bata at ako'y tumatanda

At kahit 'di ko gets ang jokes mo, generation gap ang say mo

I love you, anak. I love you

I love you, anak. I love you

Di laging magkapareho, minsan di magkasundo

But I love you, anak.

I love you (Repeat)

I love you, anak. I love you.

By Sarah Joy Garlan