Anne's Adoption Story

As seen in http://www.cradle.org/adopted-people-stories-anne

Photo from skinnymom.com

I don’t remember the first time I learned I was adopted. It wasn’t like in the movies: There was no shocking revelation or teary-eyed confession. It has just always been a part of who I am.

Sure, when I was younger it sometimes made me feel different than the other children. Whenever I made a wish, especially on my birthday, I would think of my biological mother. I’d wonder where I came from and if she shared my eye color. But most of the time, my adoption story just struck me as special. My mom was somewhat religious and told me it was God’s way of putting our family together. So I just always knew this was how my life was meant to be, and it was never something I kept hidden.

Over the years, I’ve felt so fortunate for the life I’ve led. My mom repeatedly reassured me how my biological parents chose adoption because they loved me, so I’ve never once resented their choice. Instead, I’m thankful for the opportunities adoption has provided me – an amazing childhood with caring parents. My dad was a lawyer who coached all of my sports teams, and my mom was a teacher who stayed at home with us for a good chunk of our childhood. I lived in a nice suburb of Chicago, and I was always surrounded by my large extended family. My brother was also adopted from The Cradle, so I didn’t feel alone in that regard.

Still, in the past, I did occasionally find it difficult to relate to other people. But that feeling was rare, and when it happened I would turn to my parents for comfort. They would help me understand my background, or at least as much as they knew about it. I was adopted in 1979 when closed adoption was still the norm, so the information they could pass on was limited. Even so, they knew my history was important, and they even brought me back to The Cradle to see the nursery where I stayed as a baby.

About a year ago, I reached out to The Cradle to find out more about my biological parents. I had been diagnosed with breast cancer and wanted to do a file check on my medical history. As luck would have it, it turned out my biological mother had also recently contacted The Cradle to reach out to me. One of The Cradle’s social workers asked if I would be willing to exchange a letter, and so I did.

I still don’t know my biological mother too well, but I think she was relieved to hear how I’ve turned out. But because my life has been more tumultuous recently, I’m taking our reconnection just one step at a time, moving forward at a slow pace. I’ve only written that one letter, and she has sent me a couple. Still, I’m eager to strengthen our relationship and I’m looking forward to what lies ahead.

"Love Sees Beyond Differences" is an advocacy we, UST students, had to work hand in hand with for our Ideas that Matter event (an academic activity participated by Advertising and Communication Arts students of UST). At first I was a bit hesitant if we could be successful since not a lot of people are open to the broad aspect which is adoption. It is fulfilling to see that the students I was with eventually warmed up to the advocacy after the 3 days of ITM. A lot of students are now open to the concept of adoption. They now have deeper understanding of what adoption really is and what it can do for other people.

Adoption is not just about welcoming someone into your home. It doesn't end there. It’s about being a family and creating a home for the child and being there every step of the way. Being the reason for a child’s smile is the most fulfilling or the lightest feeling in the world and I think the Love Sees Beyond Differences campaign has that power. The power to give joy to children and parents alike.

By Claudine dela Cruz

I’ve always been aware of adoption from watching local TV shows from when I was a little kid. Honestly speaking, I didn’t really know how to feel about children who didn’t have a place to call home or didn’t know anything about their real parents who were supposed to be there by their side.

The relationship between the adoptive parents and adopted children is an interesting subject.

Generally, people know that those kinds of relationships may hit a bumpy road because of their complicated status.  Aside from providing essential needs, love and care for the child, they must face the fact that one day, they would have to tell their adoptive child that he/she is adopted.

 A couple who have always desired a child and finally was able to adopt a child after a grueling process would feel very blessed and fall in love with their new son/daughter but would soon be served with issues with their adopted child when he/she hits the teenage years.

How should adoptive parents deal with disclosing the truth to their child?

Telling the truth to an adopted child would hit various chords that would affect his/her relationships inside the family and even to friends, people they know from school and such.

Adoptive parents should convey to their child in the beginning that it is alright to talk about their adoption openly. If they seek answers to questions about their identity, then the adoptive parents must oblige. Openly conversing about the adoption could serve as a means of bonding of the adopted child and adoptive parents.

In the end, like every other relationship, a relationship between an adopted child and his/her adoptive parents is a relationship of give-and-take, of understanding that requires not only love but patience as well.

Adoption isn’t just giving food, shelter and a name for a homeless child. It is not only an option for couples who can’t have children, or for people who just want another member of their family. It is saving one’s life – giving the child a chance to fulfill his/her dreams and happiness despite the challenges the parents may face while raising the child and the fact that he/she is different.

I believe that this is what the advocacy wishes to tell everyone about.  That adoption isn’t just an act of kindness but a kind of love worth declaring despite differences.

-Jeri Ann A. Gabon, University of Santo Tomas- College of Fine Arts and Design

A New Hope

                There a lot of abandoned children in the country. They are mostly abandoned due to the lack of support their own family could give them. They are then left on the streets to ask for money and people usually ignore these children. People are either afraid of them or they think that they are working for a syndicate. But how do we give them a chance to have a better life?

                Here comes adoption. It’s nothing new in this country but it is becoming the least solution to the problems of abandoned children. Adopting a child is giving them a new life. People should not adopt not only due to pity but because they are really willing to give them a chance to be loved by a family. 

                In adopting, people should see that the children they are adopting are not different than them. No matter where the children came from, parents should treat them like they have always been a part of the family. But they should also tell their adopted children the truth as they have the right to know it. Love and acceptance should be the priority of the children. Because of adoption, they have been saved from a lonely world.

               

                People should be more aware of adoption and this has been done by the Department of Social Welfare and Development and also the help of McCann Philippines’ Love Sees Beyond Differences. Different families who adopted have gathered to celebrate the good things about adoption. Not everything is bad about adoption. It gives chance to the abandoned and also, love is spread. Personally, I know a relative who has been adopted. Now, she is excelling in school and sports. She has been given good education and she has been brought up well by her parents. This shows that adoption is not bad at all. The process might be long but the end result is fulfilling for both the parents and the children.

                A new perspective on adoption should be seen by the people. It might open up the minds of the people and make them consider adopting a child. We should all see beyond our differences. Because in these differences, we find the hope and love we are looking for. 

by Abigail Diaz